


I know I shouldn't... But I do!

by i_have_a_wonky_eye_too



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:34:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23364028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_have_a_wonky_eye_too/pseuds/i_have_a_wonky_eye_too
Summary: 80s Brian May x reader - You know you shouldn't have these feelings for, Brian, he's a married man, but you do... And he has them for you. What can you do?
Relationships: Brian May & Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. I know I shouldn't... But I do!

The first time you slept with Brian, it had been a drunken mistake. The pair of you were both drunk at one of Queen's after-parties, chatting and giggling in a corner, the others were scattered around, leaving just you and Brian alone. You don't know who started it but you began kissing each other, hands traveling lower, getting needier. The two of you slowly drifted away together, forgetting the party, spending the rest of the night together in between Brian's sheets.

The second time was unexpected. You'd been arguing all day, stressed out and annoyed. Being Queen's personal assistant was always testing (and exciting) but for some reason this particular day was hard. You walked away, mid-argument with Brian, pissing him off. He pulled you into what was a storage cupboard, caging you against the wall, calling you infuriating and telling you you needed to grow up. You told him to piss off and called him an old man.

"Old man?" He snapped, pushing you against the wall. "You weren't saying that when I fucked you all night, were you?"

You shook your head, a needy moan leaving your mouth. "Maybe I forgot... old man."

Brian crashed his lips against yours as he grabbed a hold of your thighs lifting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist. "I'll give you old man," He muttered pulling his hard cock out of his pants. "You fucking slut!"

The third time there was no excuse, you both wanted it. You purposely wore something a little too short and tight in the right places. Not that you needed to, Brian was already looking, but so were others and that pissed him off.

"With me. Now!" Brian grabbed your elbow, pulling you into the dressing room, locking the door behind him. "Are you sure you want this, Y/N?" He asked, keeping his distance.

You bit your lip as you slowly closed the gap between you. "Yes. I know I shouldn't, you're married, but I do."

Brian nodded, letting out a deep sigh. "Good, 'cause so do I!"

He pulled you to him, his lips hard against yours as the pair of you stumbled towards the sofa. His mouth trailed down your neck, leaving little bites as he pushed your skirt up to your waist.

"Turn around." He ordered. You bent over the back of the sofa, baring your backside to Brian. He pulled your lace panties down, groping your cheeks as he did, a deep moan leaving him as looked at your glistening pussy. "Fuck, next time I'll fucking devour your cunt."

"Next time?" You looked at him in one of the mirrors. "You want more after this?"

Brian nodded with a grin. "Fucking bet I do." He answered, filling you up in one.

Now...

"Where are you taking me?" You giggled as Brian pulled you behind him towards the waiting car.

"There's a club in town, we'll have all the privacy we want." He winked at you as he pulled open the door to the car for you. "Now," He slapped your backside as he pushed you towards the car. "Get in there, before I take you back upstairs instead."

"Can't we do that?" You giggled reaching up to pull him into a kiss. "Please."

"Later," He chuckled. "I want to show you off first."

"To who?" You frowned a little. "I thought you were wanting privacy."

He nodded grinning. "I do, but I still want people to see how beautiful my baby girl is."

Baby girl. That's what you were now. Brian's baby girl. His secret. His lover. He was married and you shouldn't want it, but you couldn't help it. It wasn't your fault he'd fallen for someone who wasn't his wife.

Brian kissed your bare shoulder as the two of you danced together, his curls tickled your neck as he moved to the crook of your neck, making you giggle. He smiled against you, his large hands holding your waist firmly as you wiggled your hips.

"Want another drink, love?" He asked, his warm breath fanning over your face.

You nodded. "Yes, please."

"Okay, baby girl. Why don't you go sit down."

You nodded, going over to where you and Brian had been seated most of the night. Being in a place where you and Brian could be so free to be with each other was liberating. Usually, you watched yourself around him, not daring to drink too much just in case you did something that might cause suspicion. Not here, not with these people. They didn't care that you were making out with a rockstar, a married man, Brian May. They were all far too busy having their own fun.

"Have you had enough?" Brian asked, pulling you from your thoughts as he sat next to you, slipping his arm around your shoulders.

"Hmm?"

"You look, tired, you okay?"

You nodded, smiling. "Fine. Perhaps a little drunk." You giggled.

Brian shook his head chuckling. "C'mon, we'll go back to mine." He smiled, helping you off the high stool.

You frowned whilst shaking your head. "Yours? But, your wife-"

"Away," He pressed a light kiss to your forehead. "For the whole weekend."

You instantly began to calm down, knowing she was wasn't going to be anywhere near. The last thing you needed was Brian getting into trouble.

"I'm not even that drunk, Bri." You giggled as the two of you entered through the front door.

"Really?" Brian chuckled. "You fell over your own foot." He laughed, looking down to your feet. "Actually, no surprise in those bloody things." He remarked on your heels.

You scoffed glancing down, wiggling your feet side to side."You're one to talk. I've seen the shoes you've worn, Mister White-clogs-and-ladies-plat-forms." You teased him.

"Oy," Brian grabbed a hold of you, making you squeal. "You said you found the clogs sexy."

"Yeah," You nodded biting your lip. "On the floor."

"You little-" Brian crashed his mouth against yours, hands gripping your waist before he began tickling you.

"No! Brian!" You burst out laughing, trying to pull away from him. "Okay! Okay, stop, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you better be." He chuckled, smiling at you. "Come on, let's get a drink, sober up a bit before we regret it in the morning."

You followed Brian into the kitchen, taking the glass of water he offered, thanking him with a peck on the lips. Slowly the two of you drank in silence, watching each other carefully.

"When was the last time you had sex?" You asked putting your empty glass down.

"This afternoon." He grinned, grabbing your glass and putting it into the kitchen sink.

"Not with me, Brian." You scolded him.

He let out a heavy sigh. His shoulders tensed up as he held onto the counter, his knuckles turning white. "Why the hell, would you ask that?"

"Curious," You shrugged. "Worried." You whispered, gently trailing your hands up his back.

"There's no need for you to worry, love. You know my feelings for her aren't what I feel for you."

You shook your head letting out a soft sigh before pressing a couple of kisses to his back. "No, I know baby, but," You moved to stand beside him. "I just wanted to know if, if she touches you, you know," You reached up to brush some of his curls from his face, smiling softly up at him. "Like a wife should?"

"If she did, I wouldn't need to feel your touch, would I." He sighed, shaking his head slowly. "Anyway, it's not like I really want it, not from her. She's not you."

"She's your wife, Brian."

"She's not you!" Brian pulled you by the waist until you were stood in front of him. "And, she's not here." He closed the gap between you, his lips covering yours firmly as he reached up and held the back of your head, deepening the kiss.

Your hands clutched his shirt, holding him close. "Please,"

"Shh, I've got you, baby." Brian bent at the knees, picking you up by the backs of your thighs and placed you on the countertop.

Your heels fell to the floor as you began unbuttoning the rest of his shirt before pushing it off his shoulders and onto the floor. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your mouth still moving against Brian's as he helped you slide off the counter.

"Let's get you out of this dress, shall we." Brian grinned. He moved his lips down your neck as he began walking back out the kitchen blindly, trying to unzip your dress.

"AH!"

"Ow!"

The two of you giggled as you tripped over your heels. You continued to lose items of your clothing as you made your way to Brian's bedroom. Usually, this never happened, you never did this anywhere he shared with her.

You laid with Brian' above you, the two of you completely naked, attached by the lips as you gently caressed each other. Slowly Brian's rough fingertips ran over the smooth apex of your thigh until he came to your most sensitive area.

"Bri," You moaned softly.

"Shh, I've got you, baby girl." He whispered, his lips moving along your throat. His fingers circled your clit, making you moan. His teeth nipped your skin before he sucked the area, moving down to repeat the motion all over again. His fingers slipped through your folds, feeling your arousal spread. "Shit."

"Hmm, more." You begged.

Brian teased your opening, dipping just the tips of his fingers into you. "You gonna cum, princess? gonna cum on my fingers?"

You nodded, arching your back. "Yes! Please, Bri, fuck me with them!" You pleaded. You loved it when Brian did it; to know he was using his fingers, the same ones that make music, to make you cum had you hot and bothered all over. "Fuck!"

He quickly pumped his fingers in and out, his thumb nudging your clit as he sucked your nipple into his mouth. You moaned and squirmed under Brian as he worked you closer to orgasm.

"Bri,"

"What do you want, love? Tell me." Brian smirked down at you, kissing down your stomach. "Tell me, baby girl."

"Mouth!" Brian's lips latched onto your clit before you could even finish the word. "OH FUCK!" Your eyes rolled back as your orgasm fired through your entire body. Your toes curled, your fingers tangled and pulled Brian's curls as he sucked and licked at your clit. "Bri," You shook your head with a giggle. "Bri!"

"Sorry, love." He sat back on his knees, his smug face covered in you. He leaned over, resting on his elbows as he pecked at your lips. "Ready for more?"

You moaned at your taste, circling your arms around his neck. "Always."

Brian chuckled softly. "Of course you are." He pressed a harder kiss to your mouth as he reached down between you and took a hold of his hard cock.

Both of you moaned together as he filled you in one. He reached round to hook your leg over his hip, letting him fill you even more.

"God," Brian breathed out deeply, his forehead laying against yours. "Perfect."

"Shh," You moaned against his lips. "Please, move, Brian."

He nodded pulling out of you before pushing back inside of you, slowly at first, teasing you, letting you feel every inch of him. His hand gripped your thigh, sure to leave marks. Each time he bottomed out you squeezed around him. He began to pick up the pace, his lips touching yours or your neck with each thrust.

"Oh, fuck, yes!" You moaned. "Fuck, Brian!" Your nails dug into his back.

"Oh, yeah, oh, fuck!" He held you close, his face buried in your neck. "Fuck! Fuck, Y/N, I love- I love you, baby."

"Oh, God!" Tears prickled your eyes. "Me too. I love you." You cried, your hands grabbing the headboard as Brian fucked you hard and fast. "Yes! Yes, Brian. Fuck, YES!"

"Ah! OH, FUCK! Y/N, yes, baby!"

You wrapped your arms around Brian, burying his face into your chest as the two of you rode your highs together.

Brian laid on his back, his arm behind his head as the other held you close, your head laying on his chest as you slept. He'd woken up about an hour or so ago, the early morning sun breaking in woke him. Mornings like this, where he could lie with you, with no fear were what he looked forward to.

"What are you thinking?" Your voice broke the silence, although not startling him.

Brian stayed quiet for a moment, thinking. "How di I tell her? How do I say, I love someone else? I sill love her." He whispered.

You nodded slowly. "I know."

"But, I love her like, I don't quite know." He let out a heavy, defeated sigh. "Not like you."

"I never wanted this," You began as you sat up, looking down to him. "I never wanted to be a woman who shagged a married man. To shag someone else's husband. I never thought I'd be here... in love, but, I am. How do I say someone who's not mine." You poured your heart out, tears falling.

Brian sat up taking your hands in his. "I could be. Yours." He nodded. "We could be together, properly."

You nodded slowly. "We could, but I'm not sure we should." Tears began to form in his hazel eyes. "You might get bored of me? Find some else."

He shook his head, his own tears falling. "No! No, I love you. I know I shouldn't but, I can't stop it. I love you, Y/N."

Silence settled over the two of you once more, the only sounds were the small sniffles coming from you as you kissed each other, and those from out in the hall.

Your eyes widened as they met hers. You felt Brian stiffen beside you as she walked in, tears falling down her face.

"I was going to ask, is there a reason you're naked in my bed? But I think I know why."

You expected Brian to move, to go to his wife but he stayed put, by your side, holding your hand. "H-How long have y-you been standing there?" Your heart broke at the sound of his own voice. SMall, broken, scared.

She shook her head. "Long enough to know this isn't just a one-off." She chuckled, it was the saddest sound you ever had.

"You weren't meant-" She held her hand up before quickly running out the room. "Shit!"

"Brian," You shook him, moving to kneel in front of him. "What do we do?"

"Shh, it's okay, baby. I-I'll talk, I'll go talk to her." He leaned forward pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Everything will be okay, I promise."


	2. I've got something to show you...

As you expected the aftermath of what you and Brian had started was great. The divorce between Brian and his wife wasn't as messy as you thought it would, it was a quite clean one. Brian didn't want to put her through any more hurt than he had already. It was the media who made everything a hundred times harder.

The moment the journalists got hold of the affair between Queen's guitarist and their PA, they had a field day. For months they followed the pair of you around, taking pictures, asking questions, making rumors. Then there were the fans who had their fair share of words on the topic. And then there was the band and their significant others who at first weren't happy with either of you. Not to mention your family who was beyond disgusted with you, 'he's too old' and 'he's just taking advantage'.

It was a tough year for the both of you, but none of that mattered because you loved each other. One day at a time.

\----------

Brian smiled to himself as he watched you dance with Roger, goofing around, smiling brightly like you always do. The sun had been beating down on everyone all day as you enjoyed a 'family' BBQ at Freddie's. It was a cause for a celebration; Queen had finished their last EVER tour a few days ago. You all wanted to remember the time as a happy one. Make happy memories at a sad time.

Your eyes met Brian's over Roger's shoulder, putting a smile on your face as he winked and waved over to you. "Excuse me, Rog," You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before you made your way over to where Brian was stood. "Hi," You smiled.

Brian grinned down at you, "Hello, love," He whispered as he slipped his arm around your shoulders as you circled yours around his waist. He pressed a kiss to your forehead as you snuggled into his chest. "Enjoying yourself?"

You nodded, "Are you?"

"I am, although, I think I'll be ready for home soon," Brian spoke as he looked at his watch, nodding to confirm his thought.

It was starting to get dark and the temperature was starting to drop, you could feel small goosebumps forming on your bare legs since you were only wearing a short summer dress.

"Me too," You smiled up at him, pressing a kiss to his lips. "I'll just go to the loo and then we can get off if you want to,"

Brian nodded letting you go. He watched you leave the garden and head into the house before he let out a heavy sigh walking over to where Roger was. "Oy!"

\----------

You let out a small tired sigh as you entered yours and Brian's front door, kicking your shoes off as soon as you could. "Boy, am I pooped,"

Brian chuckled as he followed you, kicking the door shut behind him before locking it. "Not too tired I hope," He took your hand in his, "I've got something to show you, love,"

You raised your eyebrow at him, slowly following him through the house towards the back of the house. "If it's your cock, just say, I've been thinking about it all day,"

Brian shook his head grinning, "I'll keep that in mind, but no, it's not my cock,"

"Shame," You teased.

Brian chuckled as he opened the back door, "Close your eyes," He whispered with a sweet smile.

You did as he said, letting a sharp breath as he began to lead you out the door. He held your hands in his as he slowly lead you to your destination.

"Keep em closed, love," Brian whispered as he came to a stop just before the grass, moving around you until he was behind you. "Okay, you can open,"

You slowly opened your eyes, gasping at the sight before you, "Bri," Your breath got caught as you took in beautiful picture.

Fluffy blankets and pillows were covering the grass in the middle, there was an ice bucket with champagne in and a few lit candles to light the way.

"Oh, Bri," You let out a small happy sob as you spin around to face him, pressing your lips against his.

"You like it then?" He grinned.

You nodded, "Yes, I do, but, why?"

"To make up for the lack of anniversary," He let out a sad sigh.

"We had a party, Brian,"

"No, love, the band had a party on our anniversary. This, this is just us, how it should have been," He whispered as he leaned into you, lightly pecking your lips, "C'mon," He smiled as he bent down and scooped you up into his arms making you squeal and giggle as he carried you over to the blankets.

He set you down on top so your feet didn't get cold from the grass before he kicked his own shoes off, taking a seat on the blanket. He tugged you down so you were sat between his legs with your back to his chest.

"This is lovely, Brian, really, but you didn't have to go to all this trouble," You smiled up at him before pressing a kiss to his chin. "Thank you,"

He shook his head grinning, "It was no trouble, honestly," He reached over and grabbed the bottle of champagne along with the two glasses, handing them to you to hold. "The lads helped,"

You let out a small chuckle, "Ah, so that's why I couldn't find Freddie and John for an hour or so?"

Brian nodded. "That's why," He smiled, holding his glass up in the air. "To us. Here's to many more years together. I know, we've not really started out in, the best way but... I hope you know, Y/N, that I do love you, and to me how we started was, our first chapter in many, many to come." He smiled lovingly at you.

You nodded, blinking your tears away as you smiled up at him, "I love you too, Brian," You reached up and kissed his lips, "Promise me, you won't get tired of me any time soon?" You teased making him chuckle.

"It'll be you getting tired of this old fool first,"

You shook your head, "In possible," You whispered, pressing another kiss to his lips. "I love you, Brian,"

"I love you too, Y/N,"

The two of you sat on the grass with your champagne, talking and sharing a kiss every now and then, just enjoying eachother's company. You loved just being with Brian, even if you weren't talking, it filled you with butterflies.

"Talk to me about stars, Brian," You whispered looking up to the sky, smiling as your eyes landed on the little twinkling dots above you.

Brian let out a small chuckle, taking your glass from you as he placed his own down. "Okay, sweetheart," He grabbed the spare blanket and wrapped around his shoulders, pulling you closer to him so you were warm. "Right... See, that really bright star there," He pointed towards the sky, "And then those two really bright stars that are kinda on the same level," He pointed.

You nodded humming as you stared up at the sky, already know which this one was. Whenever Brian spoke about the stars he always seemed to start with this one, perhaps it's because it was the easiest for you to find.

"That's called, The Summer Triangle," He whispered before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"Is that the one that's made of three brightest stars?" You looked up to him.

Brian nodded, "Very good, Y/N, you do listen," He chuckled teasingly, "Remember what they are?"

You shook your head, "Something about a bird?"

Brian shook his head laughing, "Close, but no cigar. It's made up of Altair in Aquila, which is the Eagle, so you were on the right tracks, then Vega in Lyra, and Deneb in Cygnus."

You nodded grinning as he pointed the other constellations out to you. "What's next?"

Brian smiled nervously to himself as he fumbled with his left hand beside him, "Okay... Oh, you see that one, over there," He pointed again, "That one, well that one is an important one... That one is the, will you marry me?"

You creased your brow, "It's called what? Will you marry me," You turned to look at Brian, finding him smiling at you as he nodded his head. "Bri, are you-" Tears slowly began to fill your eyes as his words sunk in.

"Look," He nudged his head in the opposite direction.

You looked over your shoulder, gasping at the beautiful engagement ring he was holding. "Oh, Brian," Your tears began to fall.

"What you say, sweet girl, will you marry an old fool?" Brian whispered softly against your ear.

You nodded, taking a deep breath, "...Yes... Yes, I will, Brian," You let out a happy sob, quickly spinning around and tackling Brian in a tight hug. Your lips crashed against his as the pair of you fell backward onto the grass.

Brian wrapped his long arms around you, holding you tight to his body as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, deepening your passionate kiss.

You pulled back after a while, smiling against his mouth, "I love you, Brian,"

Brian grinned, pecking at your lips, "I love you too, princess," He pressed another kiss to your lips before he rolled the pair of you over, lifting the ring up so he could pull it out of the small red velvet box it had been sat in. "Can I put this on?"

You nodded, giggling, "Please," You held your left hand up, watching in awe as Brian slipped your engagement ring on. "Oh, wow,"

Brian let out a happy sigh, pressing his lips against your ring, "I promise, Y/N, I'll make you happier than you ever thought possible. I'll look after you until the day I die and I promise, you're my everything,"

Happy tears made their way down your cheeks. You cupped Brian's face in your hands and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. "You stole the words right out of my mouth,"


	3. How it began...

1980

Jim (Miami) rubbed his forehead, a long drawn out sigh passed his lips as you sat opposite him in his office. He fiddled with his pen as he thought, hard, about what he was going to do with you.

"Uncle Jim?"

Uncle Jim. He smiled as thoughts of you as a child calling him Uncle Jim flashed through his head.

"I might have something for you," He looked up from your 'CV' your parents had made you give him. There was no need, he'd give you a job, no questions asked but your parents had insisted you do it properly. she needs to learn, Jim. Boy, were you in trouble.

\----------

"Gentlemen!" Jim called out as he entered the studio where Queen was recording, you followed closely behind him.

The boys all looked away from the various things they were doing, smiling, and saying hello as Jim greeted them.

"I'd like to introduce you to my Goddaughter, Y/N, also your new PA." Jim turned his head to you. "Y/N... Queen."

You nervously raised your hand in the air and said hello. Shyly looking from one member to the other, blushing as Brian began smiling slightly.

"Miami, are you trusting your innocent Goddaughter with us?" Freddie grinned cheekily at you, causing you to blush a little more.

Jim scoffed. "She's far from innocent, Fred."

Your head snapped round to him as the band laughed. "What do you mean by that?" You frowned at him.

Jim shook his head, "Nothing, just promise me you'll behave yourself." He muttered.

You narrowed your eyes at him, "Oh, okay, so which one can't I sleep with?" You smirked at him playfully. "I know, they told you, Uncle Jim."

Jim shook his head and rubbed his forehead, "What did you expect to happen, Y/N?"

You shrugged. "I don't see what the big deal is. It was just sex."

"Here, here." Freddie cheered making you grin.

"Yeah, it was, with your Professor, Y/N." Jim frowned and began to walk out the room, muttering to himself about it.

You rolled your eyes. Roger chuckled, "Still sex." He grinned, sending you a wink and making you blush.

The rest of the afternoon you spent getting to know the band, answering every question they had, mostly about the Professor thing. You found it really easy to talk to the men, even though they were 10+ years older than you.

"Did you really sleep with your professor?" Brian asked as the pair of you sat on the sofa next to each other as the other three got on with something. You nodded. "Was he old?"

You shook your head smiling and looked up to him. "About your age."

Brian nodded, "Oh, okay... Can I ask why? Was it for grades?"

"No," You shook your head, "I was top of the class." You smiled," No, I just, really wanted to suck his cock." You smirked up at him, "As I do yours." His eyes widened as he turned to you before the pair of you burst out laughing.

"Oh, you're going to be trouble, aren't you?" He chuckled.

You giggled shaking your head, "No, I'm actually quite well behaved. Well, more than you lot." You nodded over to Roger throwing something. You grinned, "Besides, it doesn't hurt to be a little naughty, does it?"


End file.
